IT COMES as no surprise to Johnny Dysfunctional that prescriptions for Viagra have more than doubled in the last decade. For it was a decade ago that Johnny began his crusade to help men in need by singing his song ‘Viagra’ at gigs. The songs tells of one-man’s erectile dysfunctional problem. This week it was […]
Category: Musings
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Shakespeare Returns to Rap
WHAT would Shakespeare say were he alive today? Wait no longer to find out. The Bard is back and is none too pleased with how his work is perceived in the 21st century. He is particularly angry that he is now embraced by the establishment and his works taught in schools and colleges in the […]
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PREDICTIONS 2021
PREDICTIONS. Now the world is in lockdown what will 2021 bring should ‘normality’ return. Out of the dust comes Johnny Dysfunctional’s crystal ball used to tell fortunes on Blackpool pier for former clients. Yes, everyone there is a future after Covid-19 …. 2021 Births boom. Corona Babies – numbers of new born C-Babies worldwide dwarfs […]
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DO THE RIGHT THINGS: BEAT THE VIRUS
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Whitney hologram, drugs & dead pop stars
WHITNEY back on stage LIVE! What? Well, not quite. Whitney Houston, who was under the influence of cocaine when she drowned in her bathtub, is now touring as a hologram. She appears laughing and smiling with a live band and live dancers. It’s a glamorous show with great songs. Everyone live apart from Whitney. The […]
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SLAVE TO YOUR COMPUTER?
THAT universal thinker Stephen Hawking said it. Artificial intelligence will one day control man. Alan Turing inventor of the computer predicted a similar outcome. Now Johnny Dysfunctional has echoed their doomsday prophecies in his song. ‘Artificial Intelligence Is Out To Get Us.’ In an age of wholesale technological takeover of mankind, Johnny found it increasingly […]
Don’t give up Jane Fonda. At 82 she says she’s had enough cosmetic surgery. No you haven’t Ms Fonda, actress and Oscar winner. All you need right now is a role model. We recommend Ella Rockafella. Ella from the USA sings with Johnny Dysfunctional. Ella argues: “Jane should not let herself go. I, myself am […]
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GOODBYE KIRK
KIRK Douglas is dead and now it can be revealed … Kirk was a Johnny Dysfunctional fan. They met on the film set of ‘Spartacus’ when Johnny was a film extra in a crowd scene. Kirk a Hollywood ‘great.’ told Johnny later. “Johnny your appearance wearing a loin cloth was the making of that movie.” […]
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Serial Killers – Find A Way To My Bed
IT WAS my first date with Gloria, so I was a little perplexed when she produced a document; it was my last will and testament, made even more strange by the fact that we were in bed at the time attempting a new position. The document stated that in the event of my unatural death […]