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NEVER ALONE WITH A MOBILE PHONE

Noone has the time to talk, they pass you glued to mobile phones …

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KNIFE N GUN CRIME: A WASTE OF INNOCENT LIVES

RIP Eva White, Liverpool stabbed to death in Liverpool. Eva, just 12, one of a growing number of young people killed by knife or by gun. Merseyside Police said officers found Ava collapsed on the ground with “catastrophic injuries” in Church Alley. ‘Knife and Gun Crime, what a waste, what a terrible waste of innocent […]

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ALIENS CLIMATE ADVICE SHOCKER

ALIENS have remarkably contacted a rock singer to publicise their fears for planet earth. Johnny Dysfunctional has now had the message and song that Aliens gave him called ‘Save Yor Planet’ played on Radio 6 by DJ Tom Robinson, who has since lost his show. Dysfunctional says: “Now there is a conspiracy that the government […]

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MELODY OF BROADWAY? NO IT’S THE MEDLEY OF LOCKDOWN

HERE is a medley featuring songs performed in their entirety in the Cool Cabaret solo act: Frankie Valli’s ‘Can’t Take My Eyes off You’, The Temptations ‘My Girl’, Freddy Mercury & Platters hit ‘The Great Pretender,’ Roy Orbison’s ‘Pretty Woman,’ Johnny Nash’s ‘I Can See Clearly’ & finally The Real Things ‘You To Me Are […]

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MOST IMPERSONATED MAN EVER?

THERE are estimated to be a quarter of a million or more Elvis impersonators around the globe. The real Elvis played his last gig in Indiana, USA, in 1977. He shuffled off his mortal coil after a heart attack in the same year. So what is the attraction of impersonating Elvis? Elvis fans will say […]

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Musings News

VIAGRA BOOM & AND THAT SONG!

IT COMES as no surprise to Johnny Dysfunctional that prescriptions for Viagra have more than doubled in the last decade. For it was a decade ago that Johnny began his crusade to help men in need by singing his song ‘Viagra’ at gigs. The songs tells of one-man’s erectile dysfunctional problem. This week it was […]

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Ella Fella sings ‘Cosmetic Surgery’

WHEN Johnny Dysfunctional isn’t on stage you’ll sometimes find Ella Fella squeezing in one of her own compositions as she deputises. Other times when she’s had a few glasses of wine she’ll push Johnny aside to get on the microphone. “Such is mah love of singin’ n performin’” she says. On this clip she performs […]

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Merry Xmas in July everyone …

Do be careful what you think or create and the more bizarre your idea is, the more careful you should be about setting it free – because once that idea departs the caverns of your mind it might just root itself in reality and then even come back to bite you. Johnny Dysfunctional’s last penned […]

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NO BARD FOR KIDS IN SCHOOL SAYS HELEN

Johnny Dysfunctional set the ball rolling with his Shakespeare Rap – which you can listen to here … What would Shakespeare say about the current use of his work if he came back today? Johnny lists the Bard’s grumbles in the song. Now Oscar winning actress Helen Mirren says pupils should not be taught Shakespeare […]

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OH YOU PRITI THING

HERE is a bullying song from Johnny Dysfunctional sung from the perspective of a victim. Home Secretary Priti Patel has avoided the sack or being transferred from her post (so far) though an investigation has ruled that she DID bully Civil Service staff. Her accuser Sir Phillip Rutnam says she created fear among staff at […]