Dear President Trump,
All my life the USA has seduced me with its books and films, fact and fiction, bragging and flagging that it’s the best place on earth to live. Finally, and as an Englishman I’m ready to be integrated into my spiritual home. USA will you let me in?
Right now you seem to have a downer on immigrants.
Actually your soldiers for decades have been triumphing all over the world and according to you Mr President won every war (even Vietnam?) – and they seduced ladies along the way offering them new stockings and dollar bills and then they left, never retreated, apparently. Having now discovered my dad was a GI in the US Army. Am I now eligible to become the next President of the USA?
Will you let me in?
I have written a New Anthem for your country as my application. I hope you like it.